Author Archives: jtjim

Sacrificing Truth for Love

June 26, 2006

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. [John 8:32 KJV]

Jane Jimenez

Jane Jimenez

Quotes about the truth abound.  Hard truths.  The truth, we are told, sometimes hurts.

Hurt though it may, we are challenged. If the shoe fits, wear it.  Hard truths become real in a concrete picture.  Truth is pinching toes and chafing heels.  Here it is. Truth.  Now, wear it, we are told, like it or not.

All the religions of the world, while they may differ in other respects, unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth. [Mohandas Gandhi]

The world proclaims truth.  Yet we chafe against the chafing shoe.  Modern discourse is never so painful as when the truth is at stake.  Truth is valued today…but…only so far as truth allows us to feel good about ourselves.

Modern discourse is all about being “nice.”  We have given way to political correctness.  Truth is now an enemy at any point where it hurts someone’s feelings, where the toes are pinched and the heel hurts.

We are enjoined at every turn to show tolerance.  In essence, we are told we must not make any statement that hurts someone’s feelings.  If truth must be sacrificed in the process, then, so be it.  This is modern wisdom.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell….The object of the superior man is truth. [Confucius]

The unfortunate and unexpected consequence of our failure to defend truth today is our inability to sustain love.  We have lost sight of the benefits of hard truth.  The truth that pinches our toes and chafes our heels is a saving truth.  It warns us of oncoming blisters, of ill-fitting beliefs that will eventually harm us if left unchallenged and untreated.

Truth is the foundation of a life of love.  It is the essential component of love…hard truth, truth holding us accountable, marking the points in life where we have erred, and sparking the corrections needed through a repentant heart forgiven in love.

We must not regard with contempt the rebuke of a just man, for such a rebuke is the destruction of sin and a healing for the heart, as well as a path for God to the soul. [Bernard of Clairvaux]

It is no mistake that Satan is described as the Master of Deceit.  Lies are the beginning of death.  They are the curtain that covers a truth we need for survival, a disguise that reassures us, that makes us feel good.

Removing truth from our popular culture is like washing the blood from a wound without applying stitches to close the gash.  In a topsy-turvy world, where nice is more important than truth, we have declared moral surgeons evil and cling to people who would have us believe we are no longer bleeding.

He who corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. [Prov 9:7 RSV]

Sacrificing truth destroys love.  It allows us to be “nice.” But “being nice” at the expense of being truthful is not an act of love. Instead, it is a selfish act rewarded by approval from those we excuse.  We purchase friendships and loyalty by blinking at lies and deceit.

When we reject truth in an effort to be “nice” we have violated the first requirement of love.  By rejecting the existence of an eternal truth that requires discernment and obedience, we are denying those we care about the fruits of love that flow from truth.

A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.  [Prov 17:10 RSV]

Truth conveyed by those who love me, is the kindness that keeps me from falling from the precipice of self-conceit.  It allows me a course-correction.  It is a gift of love risked by a true friend who is willing to suffer for my sake.

And they sent their disciples to him, along with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that you are true, and teach the way of God truthfully, and care for no man; for you do not regard the position of men. [Mat 22:16 RSV]

Just as world faiths have something in common in their search for truth, they are unified in their definition of love.  God is love.

Christ was defined as The Truth and The Way.  As God’s saving gift of love given to mankind, Christ personified love.  He is the perfect union of truth and love, fully necessary to save us from ourselves.

The lies that tickle our ears may make us feel good for today.  But in denying truth, we sell short the future for our children.  A society that sacrifices truth for the sake of love paves the road to death.

Republics are created by the virtue, public spirit, and intelligence of the citizens. They fall, when the wise are banished from the public councils, because they dare to be honest, and the profligate are rewarded, because they flatter the people, in order to betray them.              –Joseph Story

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Joseph Story was an Associate Justice on the U.S. SUPREME COURT.  Justice Story delivered the majority opinion freeing the Amistad captives in March 1841.

 February 27, 2006 – The Science of Wisdom

 See Archives for past editorials.

Remembering Dad

June 12, 2006

Jane Jimenez

Jane Jimenez

My father has been gone for over ten years.  It seems like yesterday…I miss him still.

He was a father from the “old school,” an outdoorsman who took me out one freezing morning on a duck hunting trip.  At twelve years of age, I felt honored that he trusted me enough to know I would be quiet and still along the river bank.

As Father’s Day nears, memories build of little things with big consequences.  Daddy loved order and strategy.  An electrical engineer, he had a system for ordering 1000 pieces by their bumps and slots, an assembly-line method for putting puzzles together.  Today, my color coded filing system owes everything to Dad.

Perfectionists to a fault, both of us, we had our fair share of rows.  Particularly vivid is one battle where we locked in an argument over how to slice Mother’s homemade bread without leaving any breadcrumbs on the wooden board.  The battle turned into a war, complete with slamming doors and morning apologies.  Funny, today…fiercely serious, back then.

Poor Daddy.  He often joked about being the only man in the house surrounded by women.  When my mother took a college class on semantics and discovered an additional set of connotations and denotations for every word in the English language, she tripled the words at her disposal for overwhelming him in conversation.  It was the ultimate Mars/Venus communication gap before John Gray was around to explain it.

Remembering Dad, I wish every kid had a father close at hand to create good memories.

Today, statisticians are explaining why we need fathers.  The value of dads is computed in statistics of crime, risky adolescent behaviors, and economic well-being.  Researchers are trying to appeal to our logic, arguing that families benefit from fathers…dads.

Why?  What do numbers have to do with explaining the longing of the human spirit?  The value of my dad is more personal than that, impossible to quantify as a statistic.

  • Today psychologists and educators create classroom lessons teaching children how to be nice to each other.  They are working to teach the very things my father taught me in the everyday details of living together as family for over twenty years.
  • Therapists help women develop self-confidence in their abilities to problem-solve and be self-reliant.  I learned this from a father who let me watch and help him fix my sewing machine.
  • Spiritual leaders preach forgiveness.  I learned this from a father who knocked quietly on my bedroom door and entered to tell me he was sorry.  He wanted to show me his technique for slicing bread without crumbs…but it wasn’t worth fighting.  And we forgave each other.
  • Special funding for special programs is directed to the promotion of careers in science for women.  My father showed me how to shape a wooden peg on the lathe, he taught me his system for tracking the prices of stocks and bonds, and he let me show him what I learned in an auto mechanics class…how to change the rotor and adjust the timing on my VW bug.
  • Self-help gurus write books and appear on Dr. Phil, preaching the techniques for building healthy marriages.  I saw this in the daily highs and lows of married life between my parents where words spoken in anger were covered over with apologies, forgiveness, and tenderness.

If I have had any success in being a parent, I can look to my dad and the sacrifices he made to be a husband and father.  When family life is tough, I hang in there because my Dad gave me a vision of tenacity and hope.  When I look for strength inside, I find it because my father put it there through his affirmation of me as his daughter…worthy, capable, and loved.

Dad’s encouragement…his example…his love can never be replicated by social programs and tax dollars.  No number of psychologists, teachers, or federally funded initiatives would ever have filled the shoes of the man who loved my mother and spent a lifetime building a picture of that love in the daily details of life.

I need no research to prove the value of fathers for raising daughters and sons.  The proof is written on my heart. It is honored in passing on the gift of marriage to our own children.

He’s been gone all these many years.  But he’s never left me.  My Dad.

Happy Father’s Day!

 

June 13, 2005 – A Recipe for Families

June 18, 2004  – Me Jane, You Tarzan

October 22, 2004  – Bringing Poppa Home

 See Archives for past editorials.

Kaiser Embraces Abstinence Education?

June 5, 2006

Jane Jimenez

Jane Jimenez

Well, maybe the word embraces is too strong to describe Kaiser Network’s publication of a summary of the recent Washington Times article on sex education.

Then again, embraces abstinence pretty well sums up the impact of Kaiser’s summary posted on their Daily Women’s Health Policy Listing, reporting positively on the Times article that “examines ‘holistic’ approaches to preventing teen pregnancy.”

Perhaps I’m wrestling with the language a bit because I doubt Kaiser realizes that it has its arms locked around abstinence education in a big ol’ “I Love You, Man” kind of bear hug.

This is a very big deal for those familiar with Kaiser Network’s traditional editorial bias opposing abstinence education in favor of programs willing to promise teens condoms will provide saf-er-er-er sex.  Hence, we take the liberty of saying that Kaiser, a major national health network, perhaps unintentionally, now embraces abstinence education.  They do.  They really do!

The Times story reported on two “holistic” approaches to preventing teen pregnancy in the U.S.  Based on information from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, these “holistic” approaches finally acknowledge that it is not enough to focus on “managing the health risks of sex.”

The big news for Kaiser is that these “holistic” approaches include “relationship skills” in their sex-education programs.  “Teens hear about biology and body parts,” Kaiser quotes, but they are also learning the importance of “how to achieve responsible and respectful relationships.”  Psychologist Michael Carrera advises Times readers “that the best way to prevent teen pregnancy is to ‘move from fragmentation…to wholeness.’”

The bigger news for Kaiser should be that this is not new news.  This is the foundation and core of the many quality abstinence curricula developed over the past 15 years, since founders of abstinence education declared that the “body parts” approach to sex education was inadequate at the least…and irresponsible at the worst.

Of course, those attacking abstinence education have been fundamentally opposed to abstinence programs for precisely this reason…that they teach teens the importance of “how to achieve responsible and respectful relationships.”

Hopefully, Kaiser is also taking note of mounting evidence demonstrating the need to teach young people about healthy relationships in the context of healthy marriages.  A recent Gallup poll finds that nearly all U.S. adults – 91% – either have been married or plan to get married one day.

Meanwhile, a survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention involved more than 12,000 men and women and investigated their attitudes about marriage.  Survey results released in May show that men (66%), even more than women (51%), agreed that “it is better to get married than go through life single.”  Moreover, men (76%) and women (72%) agreed that “it is more important for a man to spend a lot of time with his family than be successful at his career.”

This is good news for the children of married parents.  The CDC survey also found that among fathers in their first marriage, 90% live with their kids.  They are involved with their kids…from feeding to bathing to helping with homework and taking them to activities.  Other major research consistently proves that children living with their biological fathers are less likely to engage in risky behaviors…including teen sex.

Commitment to marriage and families is also good news for married men.  On June 1, UPI reported on a study in Denmark that found “the death rate among divorced men in their 40s is twice as high as it is for other men in the same age group.  Alcohol and suicide accounted for many of the deaths, and one-fourth were caused by heart disease.  “Rikke Lund, a senior researcher who was in charge of the study, said that given the findings, Denmark should do more to keep marriages together.”

Well, Kaiser, the good news for all of us is that abstinence education has and continues to bring all of this medical and relational information together into a “holistic” message of wellness for adolescents.  One curricula cited in the Times article, “Love U2” has been on the Arizona approved list for years for use in abstinence programs.

Marlene Pearson, founder of the LoveU2 Program, also teaches social science in Wisconsin.  She finds teens eager to hear more about love, intimacy, and ethical consequences of sex.  She tells the Times, teens already know “a messed-up love life can certainly mess up other parts of your life.”

Adults, says Pearson, need to tell teens there’s a “simple formula” that can help them fulfill their goals in love.  This “sequence for success” is to “graduate from high school (at least), don’t have a baby until you are married, and don’t marry during the teen years.”

Well, Kaiser, it’s encouraging to find you sharing this important message about “holistic” approaches to sex education with those interested in health care.  Fortunately, you will be reassured that this is what the many nationally recognized abstinence curricula and programs in existence today are all about…the holistic message…healthy body, healthy mind, healthy spirit.

It’s taken a long time for this to happen.  But, whether they realize it or not, Kaiser Network has finally embraced abstinence education.  Yahoo!

 

FOR MORE ABOUT HOLISTIC SEX EDUCATION

Read Last Week’s Column

May 29, 2006  – Why Condoms Will Not Save Us

 See Archives for past editorials.

Why Condoms Will Not Save us

May 29, 2006

The Washington Times reported last week on a consensus report on sexual health just issued by “wildly divergent political organizations.”  Yet, in spite of this much-heralded consensus, no agreement was reached on “what constitutes sexual abstinence, responsible sexual behavior, sexual orientation and ‘medical accuracy,’ such as condom efficacy.”

So just what does consensus mean?  In truth, it seems we are left with the same splits, divides and disagreements.  Consider condoms.  Long heralded as the KEY to solving problems associated with teen sex, you would think a national agreement on at least that one issue would exist by now.

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Why Condoms Will Not Save Us

Jane Jimenez

Jane Jimenez

Teen parents Dan and Christy[1] are just two people. I love them.  They are personal, they live in my world. But their two lives speak of the millions of children and parents in our country today.

Dan’s parents love him.  That has never been in doubt.  It’s just that they couldn’t remain in love with each other.  As Dan was maturing, he watched his parents argue, separate, reunite and then begin the cycle again–over and over again. Until one day, his mother sent divorce papers to his father.  And it ended.

Dan’s mother was determined to make a good life for herself and her two children.  She enrolled in a university, gained government assistance, and worked any part time job she could find.  She supported him in his school work, rented movies to watch late at night with Dan and his older sister, and went to all of his basketball games.

Yet, the strain of the family breakup was too much.  Dan missed his father, and his sister became ensnared in a cycle of drugs, truancy, and running away.  His mother, working hard to deal with each emergency as it happened, was glad Dan seemed to be motivated at school and surrounded by good friends.  She just didn’t have time to do everything.

Without a father at home, and with a mother and sister caught in a battle of teenage rebellion, Dan took solace in his friendships.  And he sought affection in the arms of his high school sweetheart.  Dan and Christy only had sex once.  But that was enough to create a new life, Allyson.

Today, Allyson is being raised most of the time by her great-grandmother, Christy’s grandmother.  Christy takes care of Allyson when she is at home.  She and Dan broke up right after she knew she was pregnant, and Christy has had a steady string of boyfriends since then moving in and moving out of her life.  And she is pregnant again.

After a paternity test proved Dan to be Allyson’s father, the court assigned him a support payment of $100 per month.  He felt a sense of duty to meet this payment and began a pizza delivery job, but with his basketball practices and the demands on him as senior class treasurer, Dan finally quit work, and his mom took over the monthly payments.

Dan has just entered college on a basketball scholarship, and he tries to drive home on weekends to spend time with Allyson.  He and Christy end up in court periodically to argue over custody arrangements that involve both sets of Allyson’s grandparents and her great-grandmother.  Dan’s parents, both mother and father, along with a sister who has finally settled down, and aunts and uncles who love him, support him in his role as Allyson’s father.  But it’s not easy.  Dan’s grades last semester were low enough to threaten his scholarship.

And what about Allyson?  She just celebrated her first birthday as a bright-eyed toddler.

In only twelve more years, Allyson will herself be a teenager.  Meanwhile, who will be the adults in her life to guide her and love her?  Will she grow up to seek love in the arms of a high school sweetheart?  Will she ever know what it means to have two parents at home, a mother and a father who love and hug each other at night in the kitchen?

When she enters high school, will a teen pregnancy and a baby create a problem for Allyson?  Or might they solve a problem for her?  Might a teen pregnancy give Allyson’s life a focus, a meaning–a glimpse of the love and affection that seemed just out of reach in the few short years she had for learning what love and parenting are all about?

Yes, what about Allyson?

[1] Names have been changed to protect the privacy of these individuals.

    

April 30, 2004 –Condoms: A Failure to Protect

January 3, 2005 – Teen Sex: What’s the Problem?

 See Archives for past editorials.

CDC: One Eye Closed

May 22, 2006

Jane Jimenez

Jane Jimenez

“Unprecedented!” screamed Bruce Trigg of the New Mexico Department of Public Health.  “Shocking!” lamented William Smith of the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States.  “Astounded!” wailed Jonathan Zenilman of the American Sexually Transmitted Disease Association.  “Pure Politics!” reported Rob Stein of the Washington Post.

Earlier this month, the CDC was roused from a one-year slumber.  The minute they opened both eyes, accusations started flying.  Reporters, following Stein’s lead, couldn’t type fast enough to get their own ten column inches in print.

News stories reported last minute changes to a panel at the 2006 National STD Prevention Conference in Jacksonville, Florida.  Originally, William Smith was slated to appear and address the question, “Are Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Programs a Threat to Public Health?”

Thankfully, people who care about the integrity of public health policy shook the CDC by its shoulders and woke it up.  A threat to public health?  Sexual abstinence until marriage?  Imagine!  Someone is threatening the health of our children by teaching them the medically accurate facts supporting sexual abstinence as an intelligent and desired standard of behavior?

The CDC woke up and took note.  Recognizing the pure political propaganda in the title of the panel, they took steps to bring the focus of the panel back to science and medical health.  You would have thought the CDC had shot the family dog.

Pure politics, Mr. Stein?  You are right.  But your reporting missed the very essence of what is astounding.  In truth, politics form the very heart and soul of business as usual for Mr. Trigg, Mr. Smith and Mr. Zenilman.

Consider William Smith, one of the original members removed from the panel.  He works for SIECUS, a key player along with Planned Parenthood, the National Abortion and Reproduction Rights Action League, the National Organization for Women, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network and the American Civil Liberties Union…all of these organizations united in attacking sexual abstinence as a positive health strategy.  SIECUS, Planned Parenthood, NARAL, NOW, GLSEN and ACLU.  What part of this alliance is not considered political?

And Mr. Smith’s personal expertise?  According to an Internet bio, at one time he was working to complete a doctorate in political philosophy.  And that’s not political?

Consider Henry Waxman (D-CA), who is also critical of abstinence programs and who weighed in against the CDC action.  Would you be surprised to know that Waxman receives a 100 percent rating from Planned Parenthood, NARAL, and NOW?  No?  Good.  He does.

“On the votes that the Planned Parenthood considered to be the most important from 1995 to 2001,” says Vote-Smart.org, “Representative Waxman voted their preferred position 100 percent of the time.” And that’s not political?

Thankfully, the organizer of the original panel, Bruce Trigg of the New Mexico Department of Public Health told Stein, “I have nothing to fear from a balanced program.”  Good deal, Bruce.  That’s exactly what the CDC took steps to ensure.

First, the name change:  “Public Health Strategies of Abstinence Programs for Youth.”  Gone was the fear-based language promising a threat to public health.  Next, the CDC took steps to remove the student of political philosophy from the panel.

Who took his place?  None other than a board-certified ob-gyn.  More than that, Dr. Patricia Sulak “is the director of the Scott & White Sex Education Program. Her responsibilities include overseeing curriculum content and conducting sex education seminars for parents, teachers, healthcare professionals and various civic and community organizations.  And…

“On May 6, 1999, she was presented with the “Heroes for Children” award by the Texas State Board of Education. Dr. Sulak is a Professor at the Texas A&M University Health Science Center College of Medicine, Temple, Texas and the Director of the Division of Ambulatory Care in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Scott & White Memorial Hospital and Clinic.  And…

“Dr. Sulak is board certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology, a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and a Board Examiner for the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology.”

Reporters were half right.  With the CDC asleep at the wheel, this was a panel originally convened for the sake of “pure politics.”

Thankfully, the CDC was roused from its sleep.  It opened both eyes.  And for the good of our children, it took steps to restore integrity to the panel with a “balanced program” that included the contributions of leading medical experts in the field of adolescent health.

For that, they deserve our thanks.  Thanks!

 

May 2, 2005  –  Who is SIECUS?

May 9, 2005  –  SIECUS Redefines Humanity

June 6, 2005 –  Planned Parenthood’s War Against Choice

See Archives for past editorials.