Author Archives: jtjim

Duh

Jane Jimenez

September 10, 2004

It’s big news on NBC’s TODAY Show. Matt is worried. He is worried about Katie and her two daughters. Are they watching television? And how much?

Matt wants Katie to know. A research study has just proven that the more kids watch “it,” the more likely kids are to “do it.” Sex, that is. “Katie,” Matt insists, “this study proves that television can influence teens to have sex.” Katie barely lets him finish before responding.

“Duh!” she chides.

Matt tries again. Does she know watching sex can be a negative influence on her two girls? Katie interrupts him.

“Duh! Like I didn’t know that?”

It’s a lead story for NBC’s TODAY Show. A very expensive year-long research study by the Rand Corp. has come to the following conclusion. “(A)dolescents who watched the most television with sexual content were twice as likely to initiate sexual intercourse over the next year as adolescents who watched the least amount of TV with sexual content.”

“Duh?”

Isn’t this what right-wing, idiotic, moralistic, radical, in-your-face, Bible-thumping, puritanical, fundamentalists have been saying for years? If we could wrangle a fundamentalist to the ground and force him to quote scripture, he might moralize with a Proverb. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. (Prov 4:23-25 NIV)

Oh, that we had heeded their pious, mean-spirited, fear-inducing, prurient advice in the 1970s and taken steps to control the sexual content of our culture. Oh, that we would refuse to let shows like Friends and Sex in the City pander to our children in prime time. Oh, that we would force MTV to become a pay-for-view station just like Playboy.

Instead, we wait thirty years for promiscuous sex to capture the hearts of a generation of teens, for the number of unwed teen pregnancies to skyrocket, and for an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases to plague us. Then we hire a research firm to tell us what got us to this point.

Rebecca Collins is the lead RAND psychologist who directed the study of nearly 1800 adolescents aged 12 to 17. They were asked about their television viewing habits and their sexual behavior. One year later they were surveyed again.

The RAND study results were published in the September issue of “Pediatrics.” Not only does watching television impact our teens, but according to Collins, “The impact of television viewing is so large that even a moderate shift in the sexual content of adolescent TV watching could have a substantial effect on their sexual behavior.”

In fact the impact of television is even greater than the average person might suspect. It makes little difference whether the TV show presents people talking about sex or engaging in sex. Explaining this, Collins says, “Both affect adolescents’ perceptions of what is normal sexual behavior and propels their own sexual behavior.”

Duh!

Methinks I hear another fundamentalist whispering in my ear. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (Phil 4:8 NIV)

“We found that we could predict whether the kids went from being virgins to having had sex over the course of that year using the information about which shows that they watched,” Collins told NBC’s Stephanie Stanton.

Duh!

Collins continues, “It’s not just visuals…it’s the talk about sex, it’s the idea that TV shows are always talking, and thinking, and acting sexually, and that that’s what works its way into kids’ consciousness.”

Duh!

To be fair, we owe Collins a debt of gratitude for putting common sense on the radar screen for academicians and politicians who run from any hint of fundamentalist morality, no matter how many centuries those morals have served mankind. Collins and her colleagues have given parents a reason to trust their own good judgment and take a stand for the noble things of life…good clean television, where whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable…those are the things…

we must talk about…

think about…

and do.

No duh.

FOR MORE ON AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT

April 9, 2004: Dear Paul

May 7, 2004: Thank You, Janet

July 9, 2004: Why Johnny Can’t Read…or Write…or Count

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

Jane Jimenez

September 3, 2004

“It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It’s far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain…” says Judy Garland. Oz…the land is magic, a fantasy of turnabout reality, where bricks are yellow, tin men sing, and lions cower in fear.

Born in the stories Frank L. Baum told his sons and their friends, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was published May 15, 1900, and became the biggest selling children’s book of the year. In 1939, Hollywood’s golden year, MGM released the movie of Oz where Munchkinland exploded in psychedelic Technicolor.

The film enjoyed modest success in the theaters, but quickly became a cultural legacy after its debut on television in American homes. The story is as fresh today as it was seventy five years ago when Judy Garland as Dorothy hurled through the sky in a Kansas tornado.

Strangely similar, radically different, the Land of Oz is both delightful and frightening. Dorothy is greeted in song and celebration by Munchkins celebrating the death of a terrible witch. And in a fight for her life, she is terrorized by Nikko, the Winkies, and vicious flying monkeys. In a battle to survive, Dorothy must separate fact from fiction, real from false, and pull the curtain back to reveal the truth behind it.

Today, caught in our own modern parallel universe, we are engaged in a battle of survival every bit as intense as that of Dorothy. Ours is a land where the delightful is also frightening, where false is disguised as truth.

Our own battle began as America spun out of the 50s and set a new world in motion in the 1960s, a world most easily pictured in scenes from the free and easy musical fest of Woodstock. Drugs flowed freely and sex was easy…a world of relaxed virtues guided by a new ethic…if it feels good, do it.

Yellow colored a submarine, and bricks paved Abbey Road. Like the Land of Oz, psychedelic colors ruled the day, and music fueled passions. But the end of our story is much more difficult to wrap up than Dorothy’s. It’s not nearly as simple as throwing a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch and watching her melt.

In 1950, there were two STDs; today there are over 25.
The two STDs of the 50s were curable; today serious STDs are incurable and fatal.
HIV/AIDS was once non-existent; twenty years after the first reported case in 1981, close to one million Americans live with the virus.
On television, the Lucy we loved became pregnant after she married Rickie; today the modern Lucy is one of nearly a million unwed teens who will become pregnant this year.
Way back when, pregnancies were planned and welcomed; in 2000, 1.3 million pregnancies were aborted.
Crooners once sang Love Me Tender; rappers now chant porn star stamina.

These “milestones” of modern life are enough to make us despair. But the true darkness of today’s world is measured by the innocent face of a child who doesn’t know the world was once a safe and secure place. We’re not in Kansas anymore.

We know it. But what about our children? They have grown up thinking monkeys always flew and psychedelic is a primary color. Dorothy made it back to Kansas because she had a vision of the world she used to live in. She knew Kansas existed.

“Oh — what a world — what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!?” screamed the dying witch, melting in the puddle of water. It is possible for today’s girls and boys to do the same in our own parallel world…if we only pull back the curtain on lies from the 60s that have outlived their welcome.

We need to paint a picture for our children of what life looks like when sex is part of a lifelong marriage of mutual respect. We must restore the honor and respect between sexes that once existed. And it is no small challenge to pull the curtains back on Hollywood wizards who trade on illusion, destroying the simple treasure of decency once valued by all…in Kansas.

Sex will always be easy, but it is no longer free. In the midst of an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases and broken relationships, the challenge for us is to courageously face and reveal the truth to our children. Kansas is still a home waiting for us to return.

With the truth in hand, the Good Witch Glinda’s advice to Dorothy works for us as well. We have always had the answer within us. Just click our heels three times and turn. Turn away from our promiscuous ways. Teach our children sexual abstinence is the expected standard until they marry. And, most importantly, believe in our children and their ability to succeed.

Kansas has never disappeared. We can always return…if we set our hearts on it. Dorothy made it home. We can, too.

See Archives for past editorials.

Is Your Child Ready for School?

Jane Jimenez

August 27, 2004

She is a precious little girl posing for the camera with lunch box in hand. Her short brown hair curves inward, a wisp blowing around her full cheeks to touch her dimple.

In the background, her friend watches by the bus as mom finishes snapping the photo. It’s the first day of school, and you feel this mother’s anxiety as her baby heads off for first grade.

The picture accompanies an article that is a must-read for parents of young children. It offers a list of homework assignments for parents to complete if they want to make sure their children are ready for school:

Review and update immunizations.
Take care of doctor appointments (e.g. braces) that will interfere with school.
Get rid of junk food. Stock up on healthy snacks.
Make sure school programs offer gym activities…and that your child participates.
Set up a space and time to review homework with your child.
Monitor bedtimes to ensure enough sleep.
Review your child’s daily trip to and from school and be alert to dangers to avoid.
Connect with other parents and school friends to form support systems.
Lay out a plan for hours when you are absent and your child is at home.

The article is also a must-read for parents of teens. Read through the list again. Are you surprised to realize that each of these suggestions is also required to ensure a healthy, happy school year for our teens?

How quickly we grow comfortable with our teen’s independence, assuming they can operate without us! It’s an easy pattern for both parents and teens to fall into.

This is a great time for parents and their teens to regroup and renew their connection with each other. The start of a new school year is a new beginning…new clothes, new backpacks, fresh paper and pencils…and a perfect time for high school “kids” to share time with mom and dad.

Research proves that the involvement of parents with their teenagers is the single most important factor in protecting them from involvement with drugs, tobacco, and sex. Your teens need you. And they’re the last ones to let you know.

In her book EPIDEMIC, Dr. Meg Meeker sounds a wakeup call to parents about the devastating sexual epidemic threatening the health and welfare of our young people. She writes, “I believe that, as parents, we simply run out of steam. Or we back out of our kids’ lives fearing we’re being too oppressive, overbearing, or overprotective.”

It doesn’t have to be that way. The good news is that the teen world has a lot to offer both teens and their parents.

Dr. Meeker tells us, “If you want to develop connectedness with your teen, start by getting to know the world he lives in. Where he goes at night and who comes home with him after school. Who his friends are, what they do when they’re together, and what he likes, dislikes, his dreams, wishes, and wants.”

Take your teen out for sodas. Arrange a family bowling night. Make banana splits together for dessert. Sell pop with the parent club at the football game snack bar. Pick something, anything, and do it together. You will be building a safety net to help protect your teens during their high school years.

The first day of school is a great time to reassess and establish new patterns…five years old or fifty years old…for both our children and us! You are the key ingredient to your child’s success, whether it is in first grade or twelfth grade. Start now and make the most of it.

Is your child ready for school? If you are, then he is. Have a great year…both of you!

Meg Meeker, M.D., EPIDEMIC: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids, Washington, D.C.: Lifeline Press, 2002.

See Archives for past editorials.

Only

Jane Jimenez

August 13, 2004

Abstinence only?

So what comes to mind when you hear abstinence only? Do you see fields of ostriches all with their fluffy feather fannies in the air and their heads burrowed deep into desert sand? If so, you have bought the big lie…the lie that says abstinence “only” is about ignorance.

Only abstinence? Fanning the flames of fear, opponents of abstinence education paint a picture of repressed prudes pointing fingers…wagging fingers…and saying over and over again, “No, no, no, don’t do it…abstain, abstain, abstain.”

Oh, the power of a four-letter word. ONLY. This is the thing. ONLY. This four letter word is at the heart of a vast fear-based campaign against abstinence education.

Should parents be afraid of abstinence-only sex education? Well…only if they don’t know what only means when someone says abstinence only.

Abstinence educators teach that abstinence is the only 100 percent effective method of preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, STDs. Did you year it? ONLY?

If not, it’s worth repeating: Abstinence is the only 100 percent effective method of preventing pregnancy and STDs.

Even the condom companies print this warning on their condom packages. Condoms fail. Manufacturers offer no money-back guarantees to anyone who puts their fate in their candy-flavored, color-coded condoms.

Abstinence educators know this. For this reason they believe in reinforcing this truth with information about sex…yes, sex. Abstinence educators talk about sex. All the time.

In a reality-based approach, these educators help parents by delivering the truth to our children about the risks of sex. And the joy of sex.

Yes, abstinence educators talk about the joy of sex that comes when students save sex for a committed marriage. They tell our children that they don’t have to be one of the statistics. If only young people will commit to abstinence before marriage, they will not be sentenced to a life of genital herpes…like the one in five of Americans over the age of twelve who are currently infected.

They point out that genital herpes is only one of over 25 sexually transmitted diseases that are part of the current epidemic of STDs. This is not “fear-based” information. This is the medically accurate information teens and parents need to have in order to consider intelligent choices about sex.

Abstinence educators aren’t embarrassed or afraid to talk about the value of sex. Yes, they tell our children, sex has value for your life. It is not a recreation designed to cure boredom or to boost your popularity.

Abstinence educators talk about the beautiful freedom of having sex with a husband or wife who will be there in a committed relationship. They discuss the common sense notion that marriage is the first step of family planning, when pregnancy can be celebrated and enjoyed.

They care enough about our children to analyze the lies and distortions of everyday television hits like Friends where a cast of six men and women engage in nine years of casual sex and never get an abortion or an STD. Amazing! If ONLY it were true!

Are these facts you want your children to understand? If so, abstinence educators are your best friends. This is not only an opinion. It is supported by research.

Research proves that the single most effective force for helping children remain sexually abstinent is parents. You! The parent! This matters a lot to abstinence educators. They take your values seriously and work hard to reinforce your values with information and truth.

Abstinence education. It is not only a message to abstain. It is a comprehensive message based on medically accurate information about the beauty of sex and planning your life to enjoy sex to the fullest…free from worries about pregnancy and disease.

The next time someone comes at you waving a flock of ostrich feathers and shrieking “ONLY abstinence”, remember what the “only” means. If you want your children to avoid pregnancy and STDs before meeting and marrying the love of their life…abstinence is the only guarantee.

Yes…the ONLY guarantee!

The Marrying Kind

Jane Jimenez

August 6, 2004

James Bond epitomizes the modern manly hero, all about love and nothing about marrying. Big screen or small screen, Hollywood romance bypasses the altar and goes straight for the bedroom.

This is hardly new. Since the dawn of human history, the foot-loose and fancy-free male has always been a part of the landscape. What has changed in today’s world is his apparent total lack of interest in “settling down” in front of the homestead hearth with wife and children…a family.

Bond is not alone in his quest for independence. Everything in America seeks to convince us that marriage is an anachronism, like scuffed shoes thrown in the back of the closet waiting to be tossed out with the next spring cleaning. Why would any young person, especially a young man, want to get married, we ask ourselves.

A recent study has tackled that very question. And it has given us both surprising and encouraging information about the marriage goals of the modern male. Its conclusion? “Most men are ‘the marrying kind.’”

The study underwritten by the National Marriage Project looked at men ages 25 to 34 who were married or who planned to get married. What were they looking for in marriage? Why did they get married? Did they find what they were looking for? Were they happy?

Yes, the study reports, they are happy. “The overwhelming majority of married men (94 percent) say that they are happier being married than being single.”

As we might expect, the men say that marriage has helped them become more financially stable. But they also have a lesson or two to teach Bond. Because in spite of Bond’s on-screen dalliances for sexual pleasure, seventy-three percent of the married men in the study said that “their sex life is better since getting married.”

In general, life improves for men when they marry, setting them on the road to healthier and more productive lives. Marriage is a “transformative event.”

Men benefit from marriage, and so do the rest of us. We benefit from men who set aside risk-taking lives to adopt higher levels of accountability, sacrifice, and commitment toward their wives…and toward their children.

Marriage is good for men. Indeed, marriage is good for everyone. Married men who commit to loving and supporting the mothers of their children form a foundation for the future health and happiness of the next generation.

Thankfully, the “Marrying Kind of Men” are at the forefront of efforts to define and defend marriage. Matt Daniels, president of the Alliance for Marriage, experienced firsthand the hardship of living without his father. Daniels’s mother, abandoned by her husband, was unable to leave crime-ridden Harlem, where she and Matt were both violently attacked in separate incidents.

Today Daniels leads a broad coalition that works on a wide range of legislative initiatives to give public support to marriages. The Alliance for Marriage supports efforts to eliminate penalties for welfare recipients who marry, reduce what is often called the “marriage tax'” and make the workplace marriage-friendly.

The work to defend marriage today is no less of a fight to save the world than James Bond’s 1962 mission to save the world from Dr. No. Daniels and the many other men leading the charge are the real heroes who outpace 007 in courage, character, and vision.

If the world is truly going to survive, it will depend on the faithfulness of these men and those who cheer them on. We owe our future to the men who sacrifice it all…

…who put it all on the line,

…who are content with the thrills and chills,

…of being husbands and fathers,

…The Marrying Kind.

Last Week’s Question:

Q: Did Bond ever marry?

A: James Bond marries La Contessa Tracy de Vincenzo in the movie, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. But the marriage was short. Tracy was killed by a drive-by shooting on their wedding day. Her character was portrayed by Diana Rigg.

Wedding Date: January 1, 1962 at 10:30 a.m.
Wedding Location: British Consul General’s drawing room.
Planned Honeymoon: Kitzbühel in Austria.

From the Home Front

DEFENDING THE FAMILY WITH ETERNAL TRUTH

Author Archives: jtjim

Duh

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

Is Your Child Ready for School?

Only

The Marrying Kind